Although tropical fieldwork is physically demanding, I find the mental exertions of thesis writing much more challenging to deal with. Data analysis and its interpretation are bad enough, but a common pang experienced by PhD students is an inferiority complex. Reading the work of your contemporaries and constantly challenging your own interpretation after months of work is tough to bare. This is not helped when working at a research institute such as the Danum Valley Field Centre, where I am following in the footsteps of a long line of dedicated, passionate and often brilliant scientists.
This morning, the straw that broke the camel's back was when I made the mistake of sitting down to read Alfred Russel Wallace's monumental 'The Malay Archipelago'. His towering achievements are nothing short of astounding (I will let Wikipedia do the talking), and I could not help but question my own worth. Of course it is ridiculous to measure yourself against the greats, in particular given that science today is a different ball game, a team sport rather than a solo event. Instead, my gains in research should be considered grains of sand, adding to a collective castle of scientific knowledge. Wallace achieved so much alone, but science today is made of the might of many, and I am proud to contribute whatever I can.
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